I was close enough to the kitchen floor. After rolling off the bed onto the carpet, I decided that was as far as I’d go. The kitchen was downstairs – too far. Everything is too far when you’re tired. It’s the middle of the night, you’ve been begging for sleep to come, and walking around in the dark when you don’t have to pee is not pleasant.
I got the idea from Taylor Tomlinson’s comedy special. She asked the audience for the weirdest way to fall asleep. Of course, people believe they were the only ones to read that “Top 10 Ways to Fall Asleep Fast” article. She insulted them all for their lame tactics. Masturbate? Seriously? Just because people don’t talk about it, doesn’t make it weird.
She finally reveals the trick is to simply lay on the kitchen floor for a bit. And she claims it works!
Crawling out of bed is not something I care to do when I can’t sleep. So, I read. When I inevitably go limp and my Kindle smacks me in the face waking me up, I remember the laying on the kitchen floor strategy.
Cool tile must be the reason this works so well. The carpet by the open window will have the same effect.
The cool breeze instantly gave me goosebumps. Not even a minute passes when I’m ready to be smothered in blankets. I curl my hands into my blanket pulling them up to my chin. As my now cooler skin warms, I feel my muscles sink into the mattress. That warm soft hug with a gentle breeze still on my face was enough to begin drifting to sleepyland. Finally, some rest.
Then the tiny person starts crying down the hall.